Taxiiiii!

Clearly there has to be a wedding car. Or a wedding vehicle at least. Much as the idea of a horse and carriage has always appealed, the unpredictability of mixing horses and traffic, combined with the distances involved made this option unfeasible. As I have no real interest in cars beyond watching Top Gear and being satisfied that mine will get me from A to B I delegated this task to the willing bridegroom.

I was not party to the majority of what followed but I believe that while I was working last weekend James carried out extensive research. Certainly he had spoken to a number of people and obtained a good many quotes to discuss with me. As with most things wedding related the cost was vastly more substantial than I'd realised. And hence I realised where we could make a saving... We needn't have our car plus an additional car for my mum and the bridesmaids, we could instead just get my mum to drive herself and the bridesmaids to the church. Sorted! 

Or so I'd thought. However, with the threat of 'talking about transport' hanging over our impending visit to my parents this weekend I hastily backtracked. Thus today as James confirmed out car - make and model not to be revealed until the day but I will say it wasn't made this millennium - I set to obtaining quotes for a car for mum and the bridesmaids. 

The first chap I spoke to couldn't confirm because he uses his car for touring. The next quoted me £250 which was almost as much as our car. Thankfully it was third time lucky. The quote was for £200 for a luxury saloon car. And the bonus was that I got £80 off for not having bows and ribbons on it. As I said to someone today I think said bows must be platinum plated and diamond studded to cost that much! 

However tonight I can happily report that our car dilemmas are solved and all is confirmed. And on that bombshell I can end. Goodnight.

Cake sweet cake

This is the name of the cake company on whose doorstep, literally, we turned up this evening. I cannot explain how excited I was by the prospect. We had been in touch by email over the preceding weeks and I was impressed by the speed of the replies I received and by the examples of work I'd seen on the website. We'd agreed on six flavours of cake to try:

Vanilla,

Chocolate

Chocolate hazelnut

Chocolate orange

White chocolate 

Lemon drizzle

When we arrived at the unassuming house we were greeted by Michaela who showed us into the front room, which had been converted into the cake studio. In front of us was a stand of 12 cupcakes, one of each flavour for each of us. 

Before we got down to the tasting we first discussed ideas. Now it's not as simple as just saying 'I'll have a three teir cake' and getting on your way. Instead we discussed everything from dimensions, to toppers, to flowers and colour schemes, ribbons and icing. Courtesy of James' egg allergy we also had to discuss ingredients. 

Ultimately we (mainly Michaela and I) had agreed a fairly definitive design. Then it was down to the tasting. Aware as I am at the moment of a strong desire to fit into my wedding dress I decided to half a cupcake with James. I started on chocolate orange and finished up on chocolate hazelnut. And then it was decision time. 

We agreed on some of the layers instantly and the smallest layer was of my choosing. The price was more than reasonable and we paid the deposit before leaving. 

Cake sorted.

And yum. We still have an almost full box of cupcakes to devour.

The flavours we decided upon are: Vanilla, white chocolate and chocolate orange. Our topper is bespoke and the icing will be white with an imprinted heart design. There will  be a plaque with C & J on the front and ribbons of pink and purple around the base. There will also be roses and thistles on the cake. In fact it will look something like this:

The great hat debate

 By the time I get married I will be 26 and in all those years my mother has never worn a hat. Ever. She bemoans the fact that her head is too big and on the occasions I've seen her try on hats she's both looked and felt ridiculous (sorry mum!). Despite my protestations though, I was informed that as mother of the bride a hat would be necessary. I tried in vain to persuade her that my utmost priority was her feeling comfortable and that I felt she would be uncomfortable in a hat as she is so unused to them. I also feel hats are a little outdated and as for fascinators I feel they look like the wearer has been dive-bombed by a kamikaze bird!

As no shop-bought hats would fit her head she'd decided to go to the lengths of getting one made. I decided it was best to leave her be. 

Thankfully this morning though I was informed that she's seen sense. A talk with my mother-in-law to-be took place yesterday and they have decided to present a united and hatless front. Thank you Shona!

Photographer - Tick!

Tonight after work I headed for the salubrious setting of Chieveley Service station. The reason... To meet a potential wedding photographer. I'd stumbled across her sample album at the dress shop and had been thoroughly impressed by it. I'd also by coincidence seen some of her work via Facebook. Having been underwhelmed by the websites of some of the venue recommended photographers I decided to get in touch with her. Over the phone I'd instantly liked her and found it very easy to have a chat. Despite being based in the South she had no objections to travelling to the midlands for the wedding but for the initial meeting we agreed on the half way point. 

In person she was every bit as likable as she was on the phone and fortunately she shared James' sense of humour so they hit it off too. We were not only impressed by the samples of work that she brought with her but we liked her attitude and her approach. We had lots of laughs and discussed a number of ideas. We also let her in on some of the personalising features we're planning. As I bought my dress at the shop her friend runs we were also eligible for a deal which involves getting miniature albums as a complimentary feature. 

So where's the hitch? Yes it is too good to be true. Her services come at a price but the notional figure we'd budgeted hadn't included engagement shots and albums which her price does. 

James and I had arrived separately at Chieveley and so our discussion about whether to go with her or look elsewhere took place via Bluetooth as we drove home in convoy. We were agreed. We liked her and felt it was worth paying a small premium to work with her. Thus, shortly after arriving home I confirmed our booking. 

So our photographer is Helen Rushton and our deal includes:

3-4 pre-wedding meetings

An engagement shoot and online gallery

Card samples for guests with engagement pictures and passwords to the online wedding gallery

Wedding photography from the moment I start getting ready through to the evening ceilidh, to include formal group shots, fine art couple shots and bridal party shots

Post wedding consultation to choose best images and format an album

One A4 copy of the album

Two A5 copies of the album

And a USB of all the wedding images complete with the right to print 

All for the bargain price of... Well that one's for us to know.

As an aside when we arrived home I found the bridesmaids' dresses had arrived. I love the colour and the quality. The only issue is they seem to be a size smaller than I ordered. I think they'll be ok but I'm going to have to get the girls trying them on ASAP to put my mind at ease! They lace up the back so there is room for manoeuvre - I hope! 

Flower wars

Yet again I've found myself in a position of having to choose between rival suppliers. This time it's not the venue but the florist that I am going to have to make a decision on. While I know you're supposed to shop around I prefer not to waste people's time getting them to go to the effort of quotes and designs only for me to turn around and say I'm going with someone else.

I know this situation is of my own making but in part I can abrogate the responsibility to Florist A. Florist A is one of the recommended suppliers at our venue and came with glowing references from our wedding planner. As such, having looked at her website I sent in an inquiry last week. Promisingly she replied within 24 hours. I got back to her the next day answering the many questions that she had posed in order to start formulating ideas and then I sat back and waited. And waited. And waited. And 5 days later I'd got bored of waiting.

What I'd forgotten when I put in an inquiry to Florist A is that my friend and chief bridesmaid had also recommended a florist, Florist B. So come day 5 of waiting, and having looked at florist B's website and been very impressed with her portfolio I put in an enquiry. Following a few emails back and forwards a meeting for early February had been arranged within just a few hours. I was happy. And then my phone buzzed and Florist A had replied.

Irritatingly both seem very keen and very capable. Both have worked at the venue before and both seem to think that the types of flowers and arrangements I have in mind are very feasible. So I've arranged to meet both within the space of a few days in February. Unfortunately I'll then have to make a decision and tell one of them that I'm going with the other but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

In the meantime we've had the contract through from the venue and are all set to sign it, after making sure that a few amendments are made and that there are no hidden costs.

We're meeting the photographer in a few days time. I've just had her price list through though and it's causing me a few moments doubt as it's about 50% over what I'd been budgeting. I'm trying to rationalise it by thinking about everything that's included and how much we'd pay for the individual components and justify it that way. The fact is I really liked the photographer when I spoke to her on the phone. If she's as good in person I can't see myself saying no.

We've also started inquiries about the honeymoon. We're looking for somewhere hot and luxurious but with a bit of interest, potentially of the wildlife variety so Madagascar is the first place we're looking into...

The Save the Dates are ordered and proofed so will hopefully arrive soon. Once they're sent (which will mean finalising the guest list) and James has confirmed the band and booked the transport we'll be on schedule. That is the schedules laid out in one of my many magazines and which we were already behind on when we started out due to the length of our engagement but hey ho. Today marked the one month anniversary of our engagement and I can't believe how much we've done in that time. Mum got her Mother of the Bride outfit today too!

Wedding magazines

So I've become a bit of an addict. So much so that today I had to buy a special box for them all. And it's already full! At the end of the day I've only got 9 months to cram in a lifetime's worth of wedding magazines and so I'm making the most of it.

I've got the flowers, the cakes, the dresses, the honeymoons, the crafts, the venues etc etc. and I've looked through every one. Not only have I looked through them but I've taken note of all my favourite ideas, generally by chopping them out and populating my scrapbook. 

I have subsections for all those items mentioned above and as the wedding plans take shape I'm adding my suppliers and venues to the scrap book. 

It makes for hours of endless fun. That said we definitely don't want a generic wedding and it was that thought that prompted me to put back a wedding music cd from the hmv closing sale yesterday. However the magazines are providing great inspiration. I'm finding lots of ideas to adapt and will incorporate them into the wedding by taking my scrap book along with me to my appointments. It seems I have some very clear ideas. I guess only time will tell whether they go by the wayside in the same way they did when I bought the dress! 

Getting even

There are certain injustices in life. To me it seems that getting engaged is one of those. While the man stands to gain the best thing that could ever happen to him - a wonderful wife - he also stands to lose a small fortune in shelling out for the inevitably sizeable rock. While I am not the most grasping individual in the world when it comes to rings I know my taste is not exactly cheap. As such I felt the need to make amends.

Actually that's not strictly true. I initially offered James an engagement present as an inducement to propose. Needless to say it didn't work and he took his own sweet time about it anyway (Yes, James, that is a retrospective nag!). However today the time came for me to make good on my promise. Thus we headed to a pen shop. James has quite a penchant for pens. To be specific fountain pens. He not only likes them but he is also quite knowledgeable about them and has amassed quite a collection, both new and vintage. Today though he knew he was in for the crème de la crème of fountain pens. The crowning glory of his collection. The Mont Blanc.

For as long as I can remember James has lusted after such a pen and already numbers the ball point version amongst his collection. And so with a great degree of anticipation today we headed to the pen shop in Oxford. Although the service was less than charismatic we left with the fountain pen and a significant hole in my purse. C'est la vie and happy engagement James!

The Guest List

I'd never fully comprehended the politics behind creating a guest list. Unfortunately I'm now embroiled in the middle of it. James and I have split our guest list evenly so we each get 50 guests during the day and a further 25 in the evening. This makes our overall total 150. This sounds like a huge number of our nearest and dearest but when you actually break it down it equates to almost nothing.

Naturally, given they've provided the budget, my parents feel they have a right to have a say in the invitees. While I accept that point I would hate to have purely my parents chosen guests there at the expense of people who I've been to school and uni with and remain close to. Subsequently when they gave me an initial list of 60 including the very extended family I told them the number had to shrink. And so this morning Mum very proudly announced that she'd managed to pare the list down to 34. Unfortunately she cheated. The most notable of her omissions was that of the bride! She also had a number of guests listed without their partners. And the crowning glory was listing a family of six under their surname only and not counting them as individual numbers. 

To their credit the numbers of extended family and family friends had shrunk and as such I was left with about 10 places for my all day list. Out of etiquette (The Debrett's guide to weddings of course!) I need to invite the minister and his wife and James felt that they shouldn't go on his list as the church is entirely my decision. So that was me down to 8. Three of my bridesmaids weren't on Mum and Dad's list and one is in a long term relationship. Down to 4. I'd naturally be inviting my 4 uni flatmates, one of whom is now engaged and another also in a long term relationship - and hey presto I'm over my 50. Once I'd added a few other essential uni friends and my longest standing friend - who I've known since I was 7 my list came to 60. And I'm not prepared to compromise. So I came to the conclusion that I would issue all 60 with an invite for the whole day. I will expect a few people to decline. 

As yet I haven't had the courage to approach the evening list. There we are definitely limited to 150 so I can invite a further 15 guests, however I will be able to operate a reserve evening list, especially if not all my day invitees can make it. 

The bulk of my day guests will be family, with their numbers alone accounting for over half. Ultimately parents, grandparent, aunts, uncles and cousins are all important to me. I enjoy close relationships with many of them and while a few of my parents cousins have made the list (not all as were originally on there) there are  good reasons for those that are there, namely the involvement I've had with them over the years. There are also a few family friends who have been a great support throughout the whole of my life and who I quite simply couldn't imagine not having at my wedding. 

To those friends who haven't made the day list I can only apologise. I never liked the idea of evening invitations but it's proven a necessity due to venue capacity and budget and I would rather have them there to share the fun for some of the day than miss out entirely. The evening list is a slightly easier concept for me than for James as the majority of his guests will be from Scotland, and thus an evening invite is impractical and bordering on rude! 

The other conundrum that arises is inviting people's partners when you're much closer to one than the other. In general I'm taking as a rule that if people are either married, or in a longer-term relationship with their partner than my relationship with James I will invite them. The only exception (because that proves the rule!) will be my chief bridesmaid's partner. While I can't claim to know him very well she means too much to me to risk the offence that would be caused by omitting him. 

And then to children. Here my view is very clear - the fewer the better. I love kids and want to have kids but at my wedding I do not want crying during the vows. I do not want toddlers running round tripping people up and wine spilling on my dress. I do not want tantrums when they don't like the food. I don't want teenagers texting in the corner. So I am categorical - I will only be inviting the children of my close family (cousins) and my god-daughter, who at the age of 11, both knows how to behave and will be one of my bridesmaids. This should amount to just 3 children on my side and to me this will be plenty.

I would just like to justify the fact that I'm planning this already. The reasons are twofold. Firstly it's paramount in finding a venue that you know roughly the size of the guest list. Otherwise you'll find you've booked somewhere too large or too small. Secondly as soon as we've signed the contract we'll be needing to send Save the Dates and clearly we'll need to know who to send them to! 

So that will be 57 averagely behaved adults, three children... and the dog! Job done.  

Heart over head

I am a Leonard. While Leonard's can be extraordinarily generous they are normally fairly sensible when it comes to money. I was the kid who banked rather than spent money received at birthday and Christmas time. And then I started to plan the wedding.

Today we got sent through the final quotes from the venue. One was double the amount of the other. And the reason was simple... One word... Exclusivity. Only that wasn't the word I saw on the page. Quite simply for me it came down to Sam or no Sam. The deal was that if we had the hotel in its entirety they would allow my dog. And if we didn't they wouldn't. I can understand that and initially we'd decided to decline the offer of exclusivity. However when we met Amy at the weekend I inadvertently phrased our refusal in such a way that it turned into a negotiation. Seemingly I'm so successful at negotiating that £6000 was knocked off the asking price when the quote was delivered today. Thankfully James and I were in agreement. After Mum very generously offered to buy my wedding dress for me - a special gift between Mother and Daughter - we had a little leeway with the budget. And so we have decided to have the hotel on an exclusive basis for our wedding. This means the hotel will close its doors to all comers except our invited guests. And Sam! My beloved little cockapoo has just cost us a small fortune but as James and I are equally potty about him he will be there. As will all the people who would routinely dog-sit him so it's a good job really! I couldn't really imagine our day without him and I know he wouldn't want us to. He is such an attention seeker and thankfully I love him so much I won't even mind him stealing my thunder on the day by being utterly adorable and flirting shamelessly with  anybody and everybody who may give him some attention.

Today wasn't just about the venue though. I'm in the early stages of contact with a florist - free the day of the wedding and recommended by the venue. I've also arranged an initial meeting with a photographer whose work I saw and admired in the bridal shop. She sounded bubbly and enthusiastic on the phone and I instinctively liked her. She was also over the moon when I mentioned Sam. We're meeting next week in the salubrious setting of a motorway service station half way between where we live.

And all of this accomplished despite this bridezilla's nightmare scenario occurring yesterday... The death by drowning of my beloved phone. Thankfully O2 had me back up and running within an hour and to my knowledge only one bridesmaid sized phone call missed.

On which note I forgot to mention. The adult bridesmaids' dresses were purchased last night. Both seemed to approve of the choice and although I'm a little skeptical about buying online these were the most suitable I'd seen and I thankfully have a tame seamstress who can make any necessary alterations.

James is now tasked with organising the transport and has finally allowed me a glimpse of his guest list. Irritatingly he is struggling less with the numbers side of things than I am. Oh the politics!

The diet

Most brides diet. At least that's what I understand. Some do it more successfully that others. In the past my weight has fluctuated quite a lot and I've previously had some success when it came to dieting. I will never be a stick insect. I accept that. As I've grown older I've also come to embrace having curves and I count them as one of my greatest assets. That said for the last 2 and a half years (about the same length of time that James has cooked for me with any degree of regularity) my weight has remained steadfastly high. That would be a full three stones higher than when I met James.

Unfortunately for my appetite that is going to change. As soon as James proposed I started being careful and as such managed not to gain any weight over the Christmas period. When midnight struck on New Years Day though it was out with snacks completely. No chocolate has yet passed my lips this year and I think it only will at the cake tasting and subsequently at the wedding, presuming that chocolate is one of our favoured flavours at said tasting (two weeks today!).

Finally today I started seeing results. I am now proud to announce that I am officially 3 pounds lighter than I was this time last week. Fear not it's not the result of a crash diet. I am eating three square meals per day and fully intend to continue doing so. I do now have the belief that I can lose that weight and after the joys of trying on my beautiful dress I have something to aim towards. True I've had my measurements taken but I'm told there's not a problem with losing an extra stone (or two) between now and the big day. Anyway dinner's being served. Goodnight!

THE dress

So I had a few days off work and today, almost on the spur of the moment, I booked an appointment at a Bridal shop in Winchester. By chance they had an appointment going at 13.30 and so Mum and I arrived. We were both full of beans and very giggly. Despite my usually infallible wedding radar it transpires I have both driven and walked by this particular shop hundreds of times and never noticed it. But today the start was promising and I fell immediately for one of the dresses in the window. It was exactly what I thought I was looking for. Full skirt, ivory/ cream coloured and had a beautiful lace overlay giving it some coverage up top. It was one of 5 dresses I ultimately tried on. It was not however... The one!

Brides of Winchester is an unassuming shop. It stocks a range of British designers and a good start was that it stocks Sassi Holford dresses, a number of which had caught my eye in my bridal magazines. At least two of her fabulous creations featured amongst those I tried on. The pattern seemed to be that I preferred dresses that flared from the waist and had an embellished top but simple skirt. I also knew from the outset that I did not want fishtail and I did not want bling - Lace but not dazzle. My wedding scrapbook is full of them! I tried on a number and struggled not to be disappointed by the fact that I didn't get that wow feeling. And then there was dress number four. Yes that's all it took for me to find THE ONE. Even as I was stepping into it this dress felt completely different. It's hard to say exactly how but I just got the feeling. As I pulled it up into place that feeling intensified and as my Mum finally burst into tears I knew we'd cracked it.

All I will say about the dress is that it is not at all what I was expecting. It's completely different from dresses I've seen other brides in. One thing I never realised about wedding dress shopping is how customiseable the dresses are. If you want or don't want straps they can be adapted to whichever dress you pick. If you do or don't want overlay they can be added/ taken away. If you want a belt it can be added or taken off. And that's before you even think about the veil. Today, for me, everything fitted perfectly into place. The dress I've chosen is by a designer I'd not previously heard of. She is a small independent and rarely features in the bridal magazines. Her dresses are timelessly elegant. I've never seen a dress like mine and you never will again as even if I told you the name and the designer now the pictures online are very different from the dress that I will walk down the aisle in in eight months time. I go for my fittings from July.

Oh go on then I'll give you one hint. I've always loved Sweet Home Alabama.

So that's it. That's a big fat tick in the box of trying on wedding dresses. As a life experience I have to say it was pretty good and perhaps made even better for the fact that when I woke up this morning I had no idea today would be the day. I will never again go into a bridal shop as the blushing bride to pick out a dress. Instead I will walk in to try on my dress. The chosen one. The one that will be present in the pictures on our mantelpiece for years to come. The one that had my mother in tears when I walked out the changing room. The one that had me bemoaning the fact that I ever had to take it off. The dress to end all dresses. The dress to completely bust my budget. My wedding dress!

Parents of the bride and groom

James and I are both very close to our parents. We are also both only children. This is therefore the only opportunity our parents will have to be 'the parents' at a wedding. Naturally they are excited and keen to be involved. Unfortunately for them, while we value their input, James and I want this day, our day, to be about us. I am a planner. I never used to be but I am now and I have been for a number of years (much to the occasional frustration of James). What is new to the equation is that James too has been converted to the cause. As such we are both in planning overdrive. We have accomplished an awful lot in a short space of time (just over three weeks to be precise!) but noses are starting to be put out of joint.

I had envisioned that I would be the primary planning force in a wedding and that if that wedding were to be planned by a team that the team would automatically constitute of me, my Mum and my bridesmaids. It turns out that the team is actually the main protagonists, just me and James. My mother has already informed me that she is feeling sidelined. I am terribly sorry about this but I'm keeping her updated about all the developments, sending her links to any of our suppliers and taking on board any of her suggestions. However, when she suggested coming with me and James to our first appointment with the wedding coordinator the answer was a resounding 'No!'. I'm more than happy to visit the venue with her long before the big day, and we now seem to have settled on a date in February to do just that, but it just didn't seem appropriate that she and dad came along to that first meeting.

Mum will get to be involved in the picking of the dress. And again we have provisionally set aside some dates in February to do just that. She has also volunteered to calligraphy the table plan, place-cards, and invitations. I'm also in desperate need of her guidance when it comes to flowers. I want her and Dad to be involved in the day and the preparations as much as possible. Tomorrow we're having some Mother/ Daughter shopping time and may even pick some shoes. I'll show her my mocked up invitations and seek her opinion. I'll also show her my rapidly populating scrap book and we'll probably buy any new issues of bridal magazines that we can find. And then I'll come back to Oxford, back to James, and between the two of us we'll decide more about the day that will start the rest of our lives.

As for James' parents I absolutely adore them. Today though an SOS came through by email. Before we've even signed the agreement with the venue they were trying to book the rooms (all of which are currently on hold should we go for exclusivity) and panicked when this endeavour proved useless. Here's hoping everybody around us starts to chill out as much as we are.

The spreadsheet

Yes it has come to this already. As we contemplate the very real prospect of blowing over half our budget on exclusivity and taking into account the money we want to spend on our honeymoon we have realised that money may be tight. Thus today the spreadsheet was born. I have no idea which way is up when it comes to Excel. I can open and understand information that other people have tapped in and that is where my expertise ends. Fortunately though James is something of an expert. Or at the very least he is suitably proficient that tonight at my request he produced in the mere blink of an eye... The wedding spreadsheet. I have a feeling that it and I will become very well acquainted over the next few weeks and months. As yet our outgoings are minimal and while I spent last night mocking up invitations we are yet to charge any of our expenditures to the wedding budget. I have a feeling that over the next few weeks that is going to change.

I was thoroughly impressed with the end product. James (a bloke!) has seemingly thought of almost everything. True we both forgot rings but that has fairly swiftly been rectified. James even remembered to include things like a change of shoes for the evening do should my feet get sore. I had no idea of how many things need to be thought of but I have a feeling that we've probably forgotten an awful lot of things. Anyway here's to many happy months of planning and my new BFF... The spreadsheet!

All go

So I may not have posted for the last few days but that doesn't mean it hasn't still been all go on the wedding front.

Since I last wrote I have ...

• Arranged my fabulously talented cousin to make miniature cupcake favours - design to be confirmed
• A tasting with a bespoke cake company for a fortnight's time
• Mocked up some handmade invitations
• Met the wedding planner at our chosen venue
• Started cutting out and sticking into my wedding scrapbook all my favourite ideas from the weddings magazines that currently litter the house.

James is equally as keen and today we purchased him a notebook in which he is documenting everything from the pipers playlist to the chosen readings (Rabbie Burns nae less!) as well as the ideas for table names and a few more personal twists - factoids may feature somewhere.

Today we visited our reception venue. Unlike last Sunday when we fell in love with it on a bleak and miserable day today the sun shone and we could see beyond the gardens to the miles and miles of rolling Cotswold countryside. We also fell in love with the wedding planner - well James certainly did and rated her the highest of all those we'd previously met. Amy is the very bubbly and super efficient girl who will be coordinating everything at the reception. We were so impressed by her today and the ease with which she answered some of our questions. The only thing yet to be decided is whether we take the hotel on an exclusive basis and would thus be allowed to have Sam present. Sam is already down to be the ring bearer and the fabulous minister has agreed to it. This would however create an issue with where my darling dog would go for the reception if we don't have the hotel on an exclusive basis. I guess like most things it will all come down to money. 

I think initially I was quite daunted by the whole prospect of organising a wedding. My thoughts previously had ended with the engagement and I hadn't considered what came next. This week though I've suddenly realised what great fun it could be and thus far we seem to be being incredibly efficient and are getting an awful lot sorted. That said it's hit home how ridiculously organised you have to be, as when I approached the cake company they needed to know the precise date in September that the wedding was planned for before they could tell me if they would be able to do it! Clearly people get in there quickly and I'm hoping that this is where a Friday wedding will start paying dividends. 

The schedule for the coming week is going to involve:

• Trying to confirm the ceilidh band for the reception
• Speaking to a photographer/ photographers 
• Receiving and signing the agreement from the hotel 
• Starting to think about flowers.

I also have Monday and Tuesday off work and might shop for wedding shoes. Tomorrow I'm also hoping to buy my wedding lingerie. While I intend to lose a significant chunk of weight before the wedding I also know that at the very least I need to start trying on dresses now and then have them fitted nearer the time so if that means buying things twice I don't really mind as there's no point trying on a wedding dress with a purple bra on! 

My Mum has already informed me that she's feeling sidelined but James and I feel that this is very much our day and I'm delighted that he wants to be involved in so much of the organisation. After all this is about us promising to love each other forever and therefore we should start as we mean to go on - by doing things together and in our way.

Theme

I've always been sceptical about 'themes' when it comes to weddings and if you'd asked me a few weeks ago I would have strenuously refuted the idea that our upcoming nuptials would have a theme. However as our plans have evolved a theme has gradually started to emerge, however unintentional. The indisputable fact is that I am marrying a true Scotsman. I always said I would and it was on the wish list I gave to the mutual friend who set us up, but I couldn't have foreseen the way things would pan out - it was just a dream. Said dream did involve marrying a guy in a kilt. And it just so happens that my dream guy wouldn't dream of not wearing his kilt on our wedding day.

 So it started with the kilt. Anyone who's ever been in the process of planning a wedding to a groom who wears a kilt will know that it's a mixed blessing. Yes it's seriously hot. But it's also an absolute nightmare to match with a colour scheme. James' tartan is the Robertson tartan. It's red based and thus my natural predisposition towards pink had to go out the window to avoid a clash. I didn't want to go with the blue in the tartan - navy and thus too dark. I didn't want to go with the green as it's not my favourite colour in the world. For me red was too much of a generic, easy choice and if I'd gone for a red it would have been a completely different shade from the one in the tartan anyhow. And so it was I decided simply not to clash and go with purple as the colour scheme.

Then my thoughts turned to flowers. The obvious choice in this situation is the thistle - not only is it the national flower of Scotland and a very common Scottish emblem but it's purple. It won't be the only component of my bouquet but it'll certainly feature in that, the buttonholes and potentially the stationary and the favours.

It was never in dispute that our evening entertainment would vary from a disco/ DJ/ band. The fact that the evening would feature a ceilidh was inevitable. Not only is it a way to get people up and dancing - because let's face it who can resist a reel - but it's also reminiscent of one of our early dates and yet another 'us' feature.

The piper we've booked (yes I do actually really like the bagpipes!) founded a ceilidh band and we're in the process at the moment of seeing if they're available to play for the wedding. The piper has already confirmed and we've given him an idea of some of the tunes we'd like to feature during his set. Last time we saw him perform (at Burn's night last year) he was kitted out in spectacular regalia and I'm sure he will not disappoint on the wedding day - 8ish months and counting!

It was only today that I came up with table names. We'd talked through a few ideas and what we'd provisionally decided just didn't seem quite right to me - although we have worked out how to involve it in the table design anyway. However today I pitched my latest idea to James and he loved it - we'll name the tables after distilleries. True, whisky is more of James' passion than mine, but we've been to a number of distilleries both together and separately and I appreciate the process even if I don't like the product. A lot of them also have seriously interesting names.

So we now have the national dress, national dancing, national flower, national instrument and the national drink featuring prominently at our wedding - not to mention an actual national as the groom. And the theme is...

'Aye that's right'...

It's Scotland!

The Venue: Part 2

And so we had two provisional bookings and no perfect venue. We were dejected. Or at the very least I was. When I am dejected I am intolerable. I am monosyllabic and defeatist. In truth I had my heart set on Walton Hall. Billesley Manor just didn't measure up and so the alternative was that we didn't have the right venue at all and should keep looking. Sadly we were both impatient to feel we had sorted the venue and the date - after all there's a lot hinging on it. Thus it was with some trepidation that I asked James if on a hunch he would be prepared to view one more venue on Sunday. I'd spotted it in a weddings magazine and to my delight he was amenable. And so we headed off to Stow-on-the-Wold, after first ringing to see if we could just call in and have an informal look around. The reception was very welcoming.

On arrival things were very promising. The Cotswold stone building was pretty and had lovely pillars either side of the door. The words 'I like the car park' were heard coming from James' mouth - honest!!! We were greeted warmly as we stepped inside and had teas and coffees brought to us. We sat in front of a huge open fire (sadly unlit but we're assured it does work!) and admired the surroundings, including a majestic sweeping staircase (yippee!!!!!). We went on to be shown around by the duty manager, who was charming. While he couldn't answer some of our questions, those he could answer were done so efficiently. He instantly appealed to James by showing us the most important room first - the 24/7 bar - which had a suitable selection of single malts and a humidor. I think at that point James fell in love.

To my delight the whole hotel was surrounded by beautifully manicured lawns - plenty of photo opportunities - and we found a further surprise when there turned out to be a glass sided room in the garden which allowed outdoor space to be used even if we get inclement weather. The other indoor rooms in the main house were fabulous and the restaurant/ conservatory area was light and bright with staggering views over many many miles of Cotswold countryside. The tables were laid with a wonderful precision to detail and I was impressed.

We were then shown the extension, which housed the main function room and some bedrooms. The function room was a very decent size - can seat 120 - and was a lovely shape. It also had ample space for a dance floor (the ceilidh being an integral aspect of the day). Although not the brightest of rooms, we were seeing it on a particularly dingy day, and it had definite potential. Unlike with some other options, the annexe was within easy distance of the original part of the house. The nearby bedrooms were beautifully appointed - spacious, modern and reasonably priced.

The choice of bridal suites was appealing. James and I had a definite favourite, the squarer room with a balcony looking out over the gardens. Again the attention to detail was fabulous with our guide pointing out that the lack of hospitality tray was deliberate and that instead we simply had to lift the phone to have freshly made teas and coffees materialise. It's safe to say we were impressed and by the time we left we couldn't wipe the grin off either of our faces.

We had found... The. One. At least we hoped we had. We just needed one more component - an efficient wedding coordinator. Having submitted an email inquiry and filled in a form during our visit I was assured she would contact us on Monday. I decided that if she got in touch before lunch I would be impressed but I would be happy with any time during the day. To my delight I had an email from her by 10am. And so at lunch time today I made the call. I was greeted by a delightfully bubbly sounding girl and we made our third booking. And I truly believe it is third time lucky. We meet the coordinator in person first thing on Saturday (yet another early start!) and I'm really optimistic.

And so I am delighted to say that the venue is Wyck Hill House Hotel. And the date .... Well unusually we're going for a Friday and it's going to be September this year but the save the dates will follow for those who'll be bagging an invite.

Yippee!!!!!

The Venue

Who knew finding a suitable venue could be so difficult? I might have googled the odd place prior to the proposal - and an awful lot since - and I had a relatively clear idea of what I wanted - or so I thought!

The day was planned with military precision. Alarm : 0600 hours (Yuk!). First appointment 0900. First of five appointments that is, with a further venue allowing us an informal look during the course of the day. We were heading from Oxford into the heart of the Cotswolds. The reasons being purely sentimental and entirely mine - so thank-you very much James for being so accommodating. I have always wanted to get married in Tredington, or more specifically Tredington church, St Gregory's. I was raised as a Christian and my beliefs are still important to me. As such for me it is vitally important that the wedding take place in a church. The particular church in question is in the village that my Grandparents lived, and I subsequently spent many of my childhood holidays. I have nothing but the fondest of memories of my times there and my Grandad's ashes are scattered nearby. Granny is still tottering on, now age 92! To add to the connection my parents married in the church and I was christened in it. As such under the rules of the Church of England I am entitled to marry there - as is James by association!

The church was the easy bit. Our 3pm appointment with the minister went very well. He turned out to be a thoroughly personable man and was open to all our suggestions. He was interested in us and how and when we met. I think it will be very easy to work with him as we approach the wedding. He was also very flexible on dates which is a great help as we are planning at reasonably short notice and trying to coordinate with a reception venue. 

In light of the Church's location we needed to find a relatively local reception venue. After some discussion of the available options - barns, halls, hotels and stately homes we decided that a country house hotel would be the most practical option as many of the guests will be travelling considerable distances and many more will be wanting to drink and not worry about driving. Said country house hotel needed to be within about 30 mins drive of the church so that the majority of the day will not be lost in travelling.

So we had our search criteria and we'd turned up five potential options to view that day - somehow shoe-horning in all those that had made my initial shortlist. The first, and one of my fore-runners was Walton Hall. One of the Puma chain of hotels, the photographs I had seen online were quite simply spectacular and, it could cater for a wedding of the size we had in mind. To be fair we didn't pick our weather on Saturday very well and it rained for the whole day. Despite this on the winding country road that approached the hotel, it was visible for at least half a mile and it certainly had the wow factor. The approach, the grounds and the interior did not disappoint. I fell in love. Sadly what it had in granduer and elegance was not matched  by the approach of the weddings co-ordinator who was somewhat infelxible. In order to get what we wanted - a sit down time for the wedding breakfast of later than 1530 - we had to have the hotel exclusively. This entailed 37 bedrooms and an extra £9000. While our budget is generous we don't want to spend it all on the venue and have nothing left for other essentials - like the dress! Regardless we left in high spirits and the bar had been set fairly high for the next venue. 

Our 10am was with Ettington Park. It was the smallest of the venues we were seeing with a sit down capacity of 96. The weddings co-ordinator was nice but sadly the building just didn't seem to work for us. There was limited scope for alterations and the breakfast room was essentially an attic conversion. It didn't compare to the first place and was thus ruled out. 

At 11.30 we saw the only venue that wasn't a country house hotel, Warwick House, although it did have 8 lettings bedrooms and a deal with a local hotel regarding other rooms. It was also one of the larger venues we'd be seeing. The exterior wasn't as imposing as I'd expected and it was located in the middle of a housing estate. While the interior was quite a blank canvas and the co-ordinator was very professional it lacked character and lost points with James for being iPad orientated. We still had a clear winner. 

Then our 1pm put the cat amongst the pigeons. Also a Puma chain hotel, Billesley Manor was slightly smaller and less grand. We arrived early and had lunch in the bar in front of an open fire. James admired the whisky menu and the weddings co-ordinator stood the bill for our drinks. She was by far our favourite co-ordinator of the day with a professional and enthusiastic approach. Her attitude was incredibly 'can do' rather than restrictive and she embraced our ideas for personalised elements. She was also the only one whose quote had landed in my inbox by the time we got home that evening. The hotel had lovely topiaried gardens but the interior was lacking in a little bit of elegance and we were also concerned that we would be using the hotel to capacity. There was a gorgeous dog statue in the entrance hall and when we left we had another serious contender on our hands. 

Finally we saw the Welcombe Hotel - a prestigious golfing hotel on the outskirts of Stratford. It was the largest venue we were seeing and the one where we didn't have a formal appointment. Again the start was very promising as we were seated in a beautifully appointed room before a roaring fire to await the concierge to show us round. The tour was comprehensive and included the bridal and honeymoon suites - impressive. We just caught the light to see the impressively manicured gardens. However it missed out on being a contender due to the sheer size and our worry of being swamped in the hotel. 

So we were left with two. My clear favourite - the first Walton Hall and the one where the wedding planner was our favourite - Billesley Manor. We both agreed we preferred Walton Hall and as such we emailed in a provisional booking for a Friday in September. And then we got cold feet. We realised that the attitude we'd been met with and the fact that none of my emails in the run up to our appointment had been answered promptly might prove to be an insurmountable obstacle. Thus, having been so impressed with Billesley Manor and having the reasonable quote already to hand we emailed in another provisional booking, for the same date in September. We were keeping our options open but we now knew our wedding date. As such we then emailed the vicar and requested that particular date. 

So that was it... we were sorted - or so we thought. We just weren't happy though. For me Billesley Manor was second best. I didn't love it in the way I did Walton Hall but I had too many serious reservations about Walton Hall to be happy with that either. After an anxious night which saw us up and talking until gone 3am we finally got some sleep. What we still didn't have by the time we got up the next morning though, was a decision...

To be continued...

Ps...

Who knew how many men would be keen to wear a kilt!?!?

And so it begins....

Finally, on 21st December last year (even though that's less than two weeks ago!), the much longed-for proposal was forthcoming. In a way that epitomized our relationship, it was low key and at home, with just the two of us there, but it was utterly perfect. He told me how much he loved me and that he wanted to be with me forever and then it was down on one knee and out with my stunning new sparkler to formalize things. I was so overwhelmed I forgot to say yes until a few minutes later but the hug said everything I needed it to. Thus began the madness...

Within a few days all relevant family and friends had been informed of the news and already the planning was well under way. The Christmas cards had been lost beneath a mountain of engagement cards and the only magazines lying strewn around the house were wedding related - who knew you could get magazines purely about wedding cakes and wedding flowers? Clearly I'd previously been naive! With the future in-laws staying with us over the festive period and most wedding planners being on annual leave - how selfish - I managed to email a few potential venues in the Midlands and during a quiet spell (five minute lunch break) at work I contacted the vicar.

The end result of this feverish planning is that tomorrow, two weeks to the day after our engagement, we will be travelling the 50 miles North to Stratford-Upon-Avon, where we will be viewing five potential reception venues, along with the church where I hope we will get married. Are there enough hours in the day? Quite simply I don't know but I'm sure as hell willing to give it a go!

To my surprise James was keen on a 2014 wedding. I'd imagined that it would be the other way round and that he'd be dragging his heels. To be fair I took little convincing to marry in relative haste. My only concerns being venue availability at the comparatively short notice and the lack of time to diet before I need to start trying on dresses.

We've already made lots of decision surrounding the wedding including

• Colour scheme : purple with hints of pink. 
• First dance : To be revealed on the day
• Drinks : Our personal favourites...
• Attendants : My four bridesmaids (two adult and two child) have all been asked and agreed. As have James' best man and multiple ushers - I think there were 5 at last count, if you count my 8 year old godson.
• Budget: Thanks Dad!
• Guest list: Although provisional we're thinking 100  - 120 for the ceremony and formal meal with more guests to be invited for the evening do.

The latter idea is something I've always been against, feeling that if someone is important enough to you to want them there then they should be in attendance for the whole thing - this was until I started looking at how much weddings actually cost and counting up how many family members I have (and I'm from a small family!). I've also been presented with the horrifying conundrum of being told that whatever of my budget I don't spend on the wedding I can put towards a house deposit. Being a pragmatist the idea of eloping has started to appeal, but this is being weighed against the little girl who's always wanted the fairy-tale. I think ultimately the princess will probably win - after all this is something I only ever intend to do once. 

I'm keen for a lot of things to do with the wedding to be handmade - I intend to pilfer the idea of silk flowers from a friend's wedding last summer for my bridesmaids - they do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. My mum, who has recently retired is keen to calligraphy the invitations and place-cards. A Scottish contact will be making the edible favours. We also want certain aspects of the day to be very personalised. If I can convince the vicar I think my beloved cockapoo should be the ring bearer and we have a slightly different take on celebratory drinks at the reception which will be discussed with whatever our favoured venue is tomorrow. 

So roll on the morning, when at the crack of dawn (first appointment 9am!) we'll be heading off to explore the creme-de-la-creme of what Stratford has to offer and the ball will well and truly start rolling. Who knows... we may even set a date!