Practicalities

It turns out that planning a wedding isn't just about dresses and flowers. Now we're getting down to the nitty gritty and trying to work out logistics for where family/ wedding party will stay the night before the wedding and how everyone will get from A to B. That isn't just for the wedding party but also for the guests. Given our rural location and the distance between our ceremony venue and reception it's going to cause big problems for anybody who doesn't drive or can't find a lift share. 

Accommodation is proving to be another hurdle. Almost from the moment we announced our engagement family members have been chomping at the bit to book their rooms at the hotel. There seems to be little understanding that as we have the hotel on an exclusive basis there will be no issues when it comes to supply and we can even set the room rate. We didn't feel the need to do this particularly early and as such there has been a lot of grumbling as we're yet to give the go ahead for the rooms to be released. 

Although accommodation the night of the wedding is not an issue accommodation the night before is a different matter. The hotel only has 9 rooms, priority for which is going to have to go to those who are travelling furthest. This means that most of my side wanting rooms will be disappointed and that includes my parents. However we may have solved that issue by deciding that my parents will stay at our house with me (presuming the purchase goes ahead) while James will stay in the bridal suite and woe betide him if it's a mess for the wedding night. 

If all goes to plan the house we're buying will easily be able to accommodate me and my parents and possibly a bridesmaid or two the night before, as well as having ample space for us all to get ready. It's not materially much further from the church although I will have to put essentials in the car boot and change to booking details for the car companies. 

It seems there's quite a lot to be thinking about. 

Getting real

As the countdown clock ticks down (150 days to go now) the printing of the invites has started to make everything seem real and very very exciting. The disaster of going to print in the wrong colour was narrowly averted and the invites were ready for collection today. Here's a sneak peak. 

A slight hiccup

Thus far things have gone ridiculously smoothly as far as our wedding planning is concerned so it was inevitable that at some point there would be a hiccup. As I mentioned in a previous post I collected the wedding rings last week. I did this on my own as James spent most of the week in bed sick. For the sake of his ego I will state that he was genuinely really quite poorly - no man flu on this occasions - and he was actually very stoic about it. However this does not alter the material fact which is that when he came to try on his ring this weekend it didn't fit. More specifically it was too big and slid over his knuckle with far too much ease. This may be a factor of his recent illness induced weight loss but the fact remains the ring is too big to be worn. 

Naturally it was left to me to inform the jewellers of this latest development,which I did by phone this morning. They were very apologetic and will make any necessary adjustments free of charge when we get round to taking the ring in at the end of May. Result! 

5 months to go

Time seems to be flying by. In the last month since I posted a countdown a lot of bustling has been occurring.

Firstly on the craft front: I have really upped the ante on the rose front. The past week I have managed to make 100! This has in large part been helped by James being sick and me being off work so having little else to do during the day times. I have also decided to utilise ribbons for the pew ends and have enlisted Mum's help to make bows which will be decorated with rose details.

The invitations are going to print in the next week. We have approved the font, colour and style and to our delight the printers are able to print directly onto the cars we have chosen rather than having to glue inserts into the them.

The final bridesmaid dress has arrived. One needs no alterations but the other two will need minor additions which can be worked on in the next few months.

The video dilemma has been solved. As there are only a few bits that we are interested in having preserved for posterity we have decided to enlist an amateur family member, armed with Dad's camera. Either my uncle of my cousin are set to be asked and I'm hopeful they will agree with the idea.

My leave is also on it's way to being sorted. I've found out that I'll be working in A&E come September and while it's fixed leave the rota coordinator sounded very helpful and has said she will work with me to negotiate any necessary swaps and has succeeded in doing so in similar situations in the past. She told me to be reassured and I have chosen to listen to her as to myther myself silly will not help anyone.

The bridal magazines continue to stack up and the scrap book is bursting at the seams. It goes everywhere with me. I'm still trying to decide in my own mind what hairstyle I'll plump for. It seems that's one front on which I am particularly picky.

I'm still trying to decide on the hymns as it won't be long before the orders of service need to be finalised.

I'm also to understand that the hen do is being arranged. With my chief bridesmaid in Asia my Mum is temporarily in charge of the reins and has contacted those people I've asked to be invited. I know that date, which is 20th July but little else...

No other momentous decisions have been made recently, although we did visit our venue with my inlaws to be and had a rather wonderful afternoon tea there. On the back of that I think I've changed my mind about my pre-wedding night location. As we prepare to complete our house purchase over the next few weeks I am starting to favour staying there and gathering my parents, dog and bridesmaids around me there, while James takes up residence at the hotel where his family will be staying. Who knows what I'll be thinking come this time next week though?!?!

For now the planning continues and roses take up my every relaxing moment.

Wedding websites

With a few hours going spare and an urge to immerse myself in wedding land I set to on a long overdue perusal of wedding websites. 

Here are those that attracted my attention:

Www.notonthehighstreet.com - this website sells anything and everything you can possibly imagine and much that you can't. It's well laid out and I can see the weddings section providing much inspiration. Thus far I've searched wedding post boxes and guest books as well as bridesmaids presents. 

Www.sassiholford.com - a bridal couture website. Yes I'll admit to having some dress wobbles and after lusting after some of her designs in my wedding magazines I couldn't resist taking a peak. Thankfully I came away reassured that I have made the right choice. 

Www.illustries.com - a company that has a slightly different take on the wedding guest book. An interesting idea and one which I'll admit to finding intriguing. 

Www.weddingparty.co.uk - a website that caters for all things bridal, in particular those of the homemade variety.  I have a feeling I might turn here for some assistance with my major craft project. 

Www.partypieces.com - this one was entirely for James' benefit. I can't admit to being bowled over by any originality. 

Www.pinterest.com - I've heard much about this site and can see how many brides swear by it. As a complete novice I think it may take a little getting used to but I can see some definite potential. 

I have of course overused many more over the past few months but for tonight this lot sated me. 

A sneak peak

Today, with James on his sick bed, I went to collect the wedding rings. Mine looks completely minuscule in comparison to James' and is a lovely snug fit. I couldn't resist trying it on both with and without my engagement ring. It looks gorgeous. The inscriptions have come out beautifully, particularly in James' as it's a little bit larger. I made a split second decision to have a double ring box, thinking ahead to the photos. I don't know yet if James would have agreed with that decision. Poor boy. For now though here's a sneak peak... 

Getting crafty

Following on from by mini meltdown at the weekend I decided to immerse myself in creativity. The result was what I believe to be a simple and yet effective design for invitations with a theme that can be carried through the order of service, table name cards, place cards and menus. Best of all it easy to handmake, for a personal touch, and very economical. Result! The ideas were taken down to see my mum yesterday where they received her all important seal of approval given she is to make them all. 

The order of service

With this week set to be devoted predominantly to stationary it seems appropriate that I make a record of the proposed order of service. This is primarily so that I cannot lose it as the scrap of paper that has floated round the house for the past few weeks has been mislaid on numerous occasions. 

It will not have escaped the notice of my more eagle eyed readers that we are to have a church service. Thus there is more to the ceremony than the 'legal bit' as James terms it. 

Our ceremony will proceed thus:

Welcome + Introduction

Hymn

Readings - one biblical and one not (three guesses who's choosing which!) 

Address

The marriage ceremony

The signing of the registers

Prayers (including the Lord's Prayer)

Hymn

Blessing 

Some of the finer details are yet to be decided. The readings have been chosen as has one of the hymns, although I am yet to choose the other. The rest of the music, including the entry and exit music is still to be picked, along with anything played while we sign the registers (using James' Mont Blanc fountain pen of course). 

We have, however decided upon the people who will play pivotal roles during the ceremony. 

Obviously my dad has the role of walking me in and giving me away. James' reading which is in two parts will be split between his dad and his longest standing friend. My reading will be performed by my longest standing friend. This leaves our witnesses. Both of us have asked our mum's to perform this role. 

So there you have it. The plans are laid out and it won't be long before we need to finalise them in order to start the print order. For tomorrow though we will make do with starting the print press rolling for the inside of the invites. At this rate they might reach some of James' guests before their save the dates! 

Video go or video no?

As people we make decisions every minute of every hour of every day. Some are mundane, others later the entire path of our lives. The decision I am currently faced with is neither, but in its own way it is quite momentous. The question we are currently trying to thrash out an answer to is whether or not to have our big day recorded on film for posterity. 

The idea of having our wedding videod was discussed from the off. It was never agreed upon, nor was it discarded completely but for budgetary reasons amongst others it was set aside. Until now. 

I must admit it has played on my mind for the last few weeks whether or not I might live to regret not employing a videographer. One of my primary reasons for fretting stems from my frequent Perusals of the wedding magazines. The back page of wedding ideas has a feature where married women think back to their wedding day and what, if anything, they would change. I happened to read one where the lady in question said she wished she'd had her day filmed. And I was off. 

While I don't like the idea of a camera crew intruding upon the intimacy of the day, nor do I fancy people suffering stage fright or feeling awkward because they are on camera, there are certain elements of the day that I would wish to have a record of in a way that a photograph just couldn't convey. The aspects I'm talking about include amongst others, the vows, hymns, piper, speeches and first dance. 

It would seem a shame to me that the first dance, which we have already expended many hours upon, should be lost in the ether once we have danced it at the wedding. I would also like to be able to remember the speeches. Some of those speaking I know to be natural performers and I don't feel a transcript of what they say would do justice to the way they are received or the fact that I imagine there will be some improvisation on the day. 

I would also like to be able to relive the atmosphere in the church and the moment James and I fully commit to one another. 

I brought these thoughts up with James earlier today and I think we have agreed that I will look into pricing and availability and take it from there. I have spoken to a few people who've had their weddings filmed and none of them have any regrets about it. I think it's fairly obvious which way I'm leaning...

The great stationery debate

Today the stress has finally got to me. The financial pressure we are now under with the house, the wedding and the honeymoon manifested in a mini breakdown which has caused me to have a face like a 'slapped haddock' for most of the day. Irritatingly I quite liked James' turn of phrase when he described me thus. The upshot is that when I came home I decided I needed to bury myself in the fairytale world of weddings. My chosen topic for tonight was stationery. In comparison to the Save the Dates which were easily sorted and are standalone the rest of the stationery is set to be far more complicated as Bridezilla-to-be here is intent on co-ordinating. In plain speak I want the invitations, the order of services and the menu cards to tie in. I also wouldn't be averse to having a matching guest book. When it comes to the place cards and the table plan though, I have something else up my sleeve.

The easy bit is the colour. Without a doubt purple must predominate, but at the same time I want the invites to look clean and feminine (sorry James). Tonight I have immersed myself in the websites of everyone from bespoke stationers, to personisable cards, to hobbycraft and I am precisely no further forward in my quest to source the perfect products. I haven't even decided if I want to make the cards (by 'I' read 'Mum', as I have far too much in the way of craft on my plate at the moment) or have them made. The easy, but expensive option, is to have them made. I say that option is easy, in fact it's remarkably difficult as it relies upon us finding stationery we like, at a price we can afford (currently that would be the stationer paying us for our custom!). As yet I've not seen anything that stands out to me as a must-have design.

Perhaps the obvious answer then is to create my own. Unfortunately I have never been blessed with creativity. I have mocked up a couple of invitations but I worry that they will look fussy and/ or budget. It's not even as though they are the inexpensive option when the cards and envelopes I like could set us back £13 for 8 and that's before adding on extra for the embellishments, not to mention the time that would be involved creating the many tens of invitations that will be required. The invite is the first impression most people will get of the wedding and I want it to be a good one. It's not about having the best or the most novel, it's about having an invite that will reflect our personalities and the theme of our day. Who knows what I'll decide on but whatever it is I think it needs to be soon!

The stag

As the wedding draws nearer thoughts are turning to the stag and hen dos. James has decided to hold his stag party in Edinburgh, a city very close to his heart and his childhood home. The arrangements, I believe, are to be put in the capable hands of best man/ best mate, Ross. James will be inviting a fairly select group of friends along with his dad and my dad. 

I found out today that James will be in competition when it comes to the stag do. My dad intends to hold 'an old farts stag'. I have no idea why but suspect it's the opportunity to misbehave that appeals. He plans to take a group of his mates up to his lodge in Scotland. I have little doubt that much drinking will ensue as he celebrates the fact that some other mug is willing to take me off his hands. 

When he first broached the topic I thought he was joking, and simply fishing for an invite to James' do but I am assured by my mother that he is actually serious! I've not heard of other fathers of the bride-to-be doing similar but I suppose it's as good an excuse as any. Surprisingly as yet mum hasn't suggested a similar scheme but I'm guessing it may only be a matter of time. 

The story of us...

Some people meet at work, others share a hobby. Increasingly many meet online. For us it was fate and the intervening hand of a mutual friend. Yes that's right - our story is that of a blind date. Only in this case it Klara, not Cilla, who gets to dress up for the wedding and courtesy of her firing cupid's arrow I've asked her to be a bridesmaid. 

This story begins back in October 2010 in B@1 in Hammersmith. I'd gone for cocktails with my friend Klara. As the drinks flowed the tongues loosened and talk turned to why I had been single for approaching 3 years. After a little soul searching we established that I'd pushed people away because I was scared of getting hurt again. Once I realised this I knew I'd be able to overcome it and would give the next guy the benefit of the doubt. Klaras next questions was what I was looking for in a man. I apologise if the following list appears shallow:

1. Older than me (I was only 22 at the time so to date someone younger would have been cradle snatching) 

2. Taller than me (there's really no excuse for this one)

3. Intelligent/ well educated 

4. Non-smoker - non negotiable

5. Animal lover

And the bonuses:

6) good cook

7) Scottish ( I love the accent and always fancied marrying a guy in a kilt)

What followed was the fateful comment 'I think I might know someone. He's desperate for a girlfriend. Can I give him your number?' 

And so I took a leap of faith and said yes. There followed a little Facebook stalking and shortly after we went our separate ways back home. It was the next day that the first text arrived. Over the course of the next fortnight texts were exchanged on at least an hourly basis so that by the time we went on our first date on 28th October, James already occupied quite a role in my life. 

That first date was to the Blue Anchor in Hammersmith. My first impressions of James were very favourable and we had a thoroughly enjoyable evening. He made me laugh and I found him very easy company. It wasn't until much much later that James revealed he'd spent the night valiantly attempting not to be sick, having got off his sick bed just for our date. 

Three days later our second date took us to the saachi gallery and peter jones' and was followed by our first kiss. 

Our third date saw us dining at pizza express in Fulham. After which James took a detour via Woking to get back to clapham junction. I spent most of the train journey in hysterics at his misfortune. 

By date four I'd offered to cook james dinner and our fifth date was his rematch. Thank goodness I cooked for him first or I'd never have had the courage to feed him after that first superb meal of chicken in tarragon on a bed of blanched veggies and pomme purée. I have to admit to a little bit of mockery when he told me that menu. 

Date eight was momentous for being our first ceilidh. Apparently I took to it like a natural. 

Our first Christmas and new year were spent apart with James up in Scotland and me down at my parents. 

In early February he had a baptism of fire when I introduced him to my parents, dog, both grandmothers, cousins and aunts and uncles at my grandmothers hundredth birthday. He coped admirably but to this day won't let me live down the torment of having to meet so many at once. 

On valentines day 2011 James told me he loved me for the first time. 

Our relationship lasted the distance when I went off to Australia in November 2011, not returning until February 2012. I can't say james coped well with it but following my return all went smoothly. 

We moved in together in Oxford in July 2012, James having chosen to follow me out of the capital, despite his love of London. 

Finally in December 2013 James asked me the big question. And so we are where we are today. There have been bumps here and there but fundamentally we share he same hopes and dreams and both enjoy strong family values. I think we're well suited but then again I'm probably biased. 

I think this is the bit where I say - and they all lived happily ever after. In actual fact I view our wedding not as the end of our story but the beginning of a new chapter in our lives, one which I can't wait to embrace. 

Gift list

At some point it was inevitable that the debate about wedding gifts would occur. From the moment we announced our engagement we were bombarded from both sides by queries about what we would like to celebrate. 

At this point I would like to stress that we expect nothing beyond the pleasure of sharing such a significant and exciting occasion with our nearest and dearest. We do however anticipate that certain of our guests may wish to offer us a token to mark the event. As such we had a number of options...

1) no gift list - and hundreds of toasters. 

2) a traditional wedding gift list from a department store

3) a more modern gift list from an online retailer

4) a charity gift list, probably to reflect our love of the Oxfordshire animal sanctuary. 

5) a honeymoon gift list as proposed by our travel agent. 

6) a photography gift list as proposed by our photographer

7) a combination of the above. 

As yet this debate is ongoing. The front runners are currently 2 and 5 but there are definite reservations to the honeymoon list as we will have had to pay for the honeymoon before the invites go out and I had hoped it would offer guests options for buying experiences or souvenirs rather than just offering a sum of money. Regardless we are agreed that of any monies that are refunded after the wedding, either from a honeymoon fund or from the venue when it comes to room sales we will make a sizeable donation to OAS so everyone's a winner! 

Victory

Finally. Yes finally I have succeeded in procuring from James a guest list. At this stage it is the guest list for the day but the evening invitees are yet to be decided by both of us and I will certainly be operating a reserve list that will both bump up people from the evening list if the places occur and adding people to the evening list if i have the opportunity. 

For now though it is just a relief to be able to send out the save the dates for James guests before the invites need to go out! 

Bits and pieces

On the wedding front there really isn't much to report at the moment. Plans are all in place and it's now down to the mere details. 

The final bridesmaid dress is on order. The roses are stacking up, although not nearly as fast as I'd like them to. At last I have a list from James of invitees so I am one step closer to being able to send out his save the dates. Our band have finally confirmed that they are all available. 

Besides this everything is now geared towards the house, the purchase of which seems to be going ahead and we can't wait to be in and settled long before the wedding. 

I started my new job this week. I'm now working with newborns. Thankfully the fact I have a wedding dress to fit into is helping keep the hormones in check - for now!